why does siddhartha feel an icy chill?he compares himself to a star.how is that so?

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  Everyone loves young Siddhartha, who is handsome, respectful, quick to learn. His father, a Brahmin, teaches him the ways of Hinduism, and his mother sings to him. The maidens of the town hold him in the highest favor. When the wise men gather for discussions, Siddhartha is there to take part. He already knows how to meditate using the sacred word Om. Even more, he can feel the presence of the Atman, the universal soul, within him. His bearing, his decorum, his... more gentle voice, his surpassing intelligence, and his dark and inquiring eyes endear him to all. His best friend, Govinda, knows that Siddhartha is special, and he is always at Siddhartha's side to serve him and learn from him.
  Oddly, Siddhartha himself is restless. Even though he enjoys the abundant love of his parents and everyone else around him, even though his father and the wise old Brahmins of the town impart to him the best of all that they know, even though he practices Hindu rituals and reads the Hindu scriptures, there is an emptiness in part of his soul. And he begins to question what he has learned.

Was it really Prajapati who had created the world? Was it not the Atman, He, the only one, the singular one? Were the gods not creations, created like me and you, subject to time, mortal? Was it therefore good, was it right, was it meaningful and the highest occupation to make offerings to the gods? For whom else were offerings to be made, who else was to be worshipped but Him, the only one, the Atman? And where was Atman to be found, where did He reside, where did his eternal heart beat, where else but in one's own self, in its innermost part, in its indestructible part, which everyone had in himself? But where, where was this self, this innermost part, this ultimate part?
  One day he and Govinda sit under a Banyan tree to practice meditating. But after the time arrives for their evening ablutions, he remains lost in thought--hardly breathing--as he thinks the holy word, Om, and his soul tries to drink in understanding. Shortly thereafter, three ascetics--Samanas, they are called--pass through the town. They are thin and worn and dusty, "almost naked, scorched by the sun, surrounded by loneliness. . . strangers and lank jackals in the realm of humans." That evening, Siddhartha informs Govinda that he will join them. Govinda, surprised, realizes Siddhartha has made his decision to go his own way in the world. And, of course, wherever Siddhartha goes, Govinda will go.
When Siddhartha tells his father of his plans, his father becomes angry and refuses permission. Upset, his father cannot sleep. Several times he goes outside in the darkness to think and notices that Siddhartha remains in the spot where he had informed his father of his decision. Hours pass. Still Siddhartha does not move. At dawn, his father relents, and Siddhartha leaves with Govinda.
  Hurrying along, they catch up with the Samanas, who accept both young men. Siddhartha gives away his clothes, keeping only a loincloth. In time, he grows thin from fasting and becomes bitter about life. It is then that he decides that he must empty himself of desire and longing--of all feeling--so that he dies to himself and gives birth to the inmost part of his being. He learns to endure extreme heat, cold, and thirst. When he brushes against thorns, his skin bleeds, but he remains rigid until the pain subsides. He trains himself to calm his heartbeat, and he learns to empty his mind of memories so that he is--at least for a time--a non-self. Eventually, the self returns again and, with it, the human feelings and sensations that he has been trying to escape. Then he repeats the process, hoping eventually to achieve a permanent state of selflessness. Govinda does what Siddhartha does, and together they evaluate their progress. On occasion, they beg for food for themselves and for the other Samanas.
  But Siddhartha is not satisfied. He observes that even an ox-cart driver who drinks rice wine after a day's work can escape from the world of the senses. He also notes that the oldest of the Samanas is sixty and has not yet achieved the fullness of enlightenment, which enables a person to overcome suffering and end the cycle of birth, life, death, rebirth, life, death, and so on. (Hindus call this cycle samsara.) That Samana will go on searching for full enlightenment but never find it. Siddhartha says the same will happen to him unless he ceases learning in the conventional Hindu way and instead pursues a different path.
  So, after living with the Samanas for three years, Siddhartha and Govinda strike out again. Siddhartha tells his friend of a rumor he heard about a man named Gotama who had achieved what Siddhartha seeks: complete mastery of the senses and a permanent state of selflessness, enabling him to overcome samsara. He has no home, no wife, no possessions. As he and his followers wander the land, the rumor says, the high and the mighty present themselves to him and become his students. They call him the Buddha, meaning enlightened one.
  In a village one day, Govinda learns that the Buddha actually exists; a young man from Magadha has told him that he has seen the Buddha and listened to him while he was teaching. After he tells Siddhartha the news, both young men decide to seek out the Buddha and he what he has to say. When Siddhartha informs the oldest Samana of his and Govinda's decision to leave the group, the old man becomes angry and curses. Siddhartha then stands directly in front of the man and, with a penetrating gaze, turns him mute and motionless. After a few moments, the Samana bids him and Govinda good fortune and wishes them a happy journey.
  On their travels, they hear that the Buddha is in the town of Savatthi (written in the novel with one t). When they go there, an old woman who gives them food tells them Gotama stays in a grove called Jetavana, a gift to him and his followers from a wealthy merchant, Anathapindika. They can stay the night there, she says, for the Buddha welcomes pilgrims. On their way, they encounter followers of the Buddha, as well as many other pilgrims, and thus have no trouble finding the grove. At dawn, they are surprised to see so many people gathered in one place. Many of the monks are leaving with alms dishes to beg food that they will bring back for their only meal, taken at midday. Siddhartha recognizes the Buddha ("a simple man in a yellow robe," the narrator says) even though he has never seen him before. As the Buddha also leaves with his alms dish, Siddhartha perceives him as a man of deep inner calm who is a reservoir of truth.
  In the evening, Siddhartha, Govinda, and others assemble while the Buddha presents a lesson. The only way to escape the suffering of the world, he says, is to follow his teachings--in particular, the eightfold path. He reviews doctrines, gives examples, repeats important points. He is like a light from the sky. After he finishes, many ask for acceptance into his community, including Govinda, and the Buddha receives them. But Siddhartha decides to leave Govinda and the community and go a separate way.
  Walking in the grove the next morning, Siddhartha comes upon the Buddha and tells him he has been privileged to listen to his teachings but will be moving on. In explaining his decision, Siddhartha says,
You have found salvation from death. It has come to you in the course of your own search, on your own path, through thoughts, through meditation, through realizations, through enlightenment. It has not come to you by means of teachings! . . . This is why I am continuing my travels--not to seek other, better teachings, for I know there are none, but to depart from all teachings and all teachers and to reach my goal by myself or to die. (Part 1, "Gotama")
  After Siddhartha goes off on his own, he reviews his life up to this point...

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